Member-only story
Dear Apple, Please Stop Trying to Make My Life Better.
You had me at the iPhone 3GS.
I usually call bullshit when I hear about Apple’s newest products on the horizon. Are you still waiting for the Apple Car? Yeah, me too.
When married to my wasband, I talked him into letting me buy an Apple Macintosh Plus so I could design graphics for his printing business. I had a love/hate relationship with my Mac Plus. I mostly loved it, but I had the monochrome monitor screen that drove me up the wall. I was fascinated with the Mac Talker app. It told stories to my kids that I made up as I typed the words. I still laugh when I think about that monotone voice.
In case you haven’t noticed, I’m easily entertained. My wasband wasn’t amused when the Macintosh told a story that I wrote about him. It began with, “Once upon a time, that was a fair maiden who lived in a house in the woods. She was married to a lazy man who became a pain in the ass. You see, his mother never taught him what hampers were for. The fair maiden tried to show him how to use a hamper every week…for thirteen years. Then she finally said, ‘F*ck it,’ left home, and lived happily ever after. The End.”
