Member-only story
It’s Impossible to Sabotage a Home Sale During A Seller’s Market
I should have honed my sabotage skills better
My husband got a hair up his ass during the last real estate boom in 2003. He owned a beautiful three bedroom, two bath home with a pool and basement beachside in Florida. It was three blocks from the ocean. His excuse was “I’m tired of fixing shit around here.” He announced that he wanted to live in a golf course community. Was he fucking kidding me? I didn’t play golf. I liked walking to the beach to feel the the sand between my toes! The only beachside golf communities were way out of our price range.
I hoped he would change his mind on selling. It’s funny…my husband never knew how crafty I could be. He’d never witnessed that side of me. I keep it very well hidden.
Example #1
I was scooping leaves out of the pool one Saturday. Hans, our Miniature Schnauzer was hanging out with me. He spotted an elderly lady walking up to the screen door and switched his bark to Doberman level. That kept her from opening the screen door, so she shouted instead.
“Excuse me! I saw the “For Sale” sign in the front, but I didn’t make an appointment. Can I take a look at your house?”
